


The open fields she wished for

by Lioheij (Cillo89)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dating, Dinner, Dorks in Love, F/M, Late Night Conversations, Manga Spoilers, Marriage Proposal, Nicolo tries to be better, Sasha is too nice and a tad too stupid, Soldiers, Star-crossed, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28547520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cillo89/pseuds/Lioheij
Summary: Sasha had to go with everyone else to Marley, on the mission that would change the face of the world. Before that, she parted with the man she wanted to be happy with.
Relationships: Sasha Blouse/Nicolo
Comments: 30
Kudos: 180





	The open fields she wished for

**Author's Note:**

> Tags aren't great, I struggle with tags, for some reason.  
> [02.02.2021] I changed the title after realizing I had somehow titled the fic the same way as another sashanico fic released in 2019 so... Previous title was "Behind closed doors".

A stray chef, taken in by the devils of the island, should not have had such hopes flickering in his eyes, akin to meek yet gentle candlelight. His chest swelled with a joy that deepened with each exhalation. Niccolo straightened the hem of his white button shirt, smiling to himself with a satisfied hum. A singsong resonated in the back of his mind, so he hummed along to it. Maybe it was a lullaby, maybe it was a religious song. Niccolo didn’t remember when his father used to sing it to him, but it felt appropriate. It was like this time he was sent to school as a lad, and his mother tied this bow tie around his neck, flattening his finest pants and brushing his hair with care and love.

He felt as tense as that day. The same briskness and effervescence. These feelings pooled in his stomach, leaving him full of flutters and butterflies. The thrill of the unknown was a pit, and Niccolo was forever falling.

Falling for a woman, specifically. A woman he never thought he’d fall for, given the circumstances of her birth. They were the typical star-crossed couple described in the oldest dramas, torn apart by the implications of their origins.

Niccolo felt like a fool. For so many months, he refused any help, denied ever needing help in the first place, until he met her inclination for delicacies. Sasha. She appreciated his work and efforts like no one else, she was his support and the only person who’d lend him an ear during the nights. She’d stay with him past serving hours, helping him clean up as if it were natural. As if he stopped being their hostage and prisoner altogether. She’d talk his ears out about food at first, until their conversations escalated to more private areas, up until they had shared their deepest secrets and most intimate stories right there, in the very room he was dressing up in.

“During a Titan invasion, I ran to my village to try and give them my help. I didn’t have my gear with me, but I needed to see my family to safety, you know. They had escaped before I came, though… there was only a little girl who was about to get eaten. She was hiding in her house, because her mother had told her to. She watched a Titan devour her mother in front of her and… she ran to me, I saw her, and I got her out after blinding the Titan.”

“You shot two arrows right in a Titan’s eyes? Did you miss?”

“C’mon, have faith. I hit both. That’s how I got her out.”

“That’s how you _saved_ her.”

“Well, long story short, my parents took her in.”

“Your family is full of heroes.”

“You don’t… mean that.” She said with a sigh, both her arms falling on her lap with defeat. She then lifted her head up with a sad smile. “I know there’s only me you think highly of.”

After she said that, Niccolo felt dumb. She had a point. He never stopped with the name calling or despising her friends for being Eldians, and… it sounded petty. Profoundly senseless. Love blinded him at first, he admitted it shamelessly. Yet, the growing and admiring respect he vowed Sasha did not translate over to her other… teammates. He should’ve known she’d be offended at some point. She always had this pointing glare aimed at him whenever this Connie boy was around, waiting for his comments and remarks. He didn’t always voice them, but when he did, she looked at him, then away. Ashamed of him.

After this realization hit, Niccolo felt terrible. With the intent to make up for his foolishness, he made efforts, tremendous efforts, to not scoff or grimace whenever one of the devils came near.

He felt… complicated emotions. Torn apart by stupid, shitty feelings. He never thought he would have to face… them! The demons! The devils! The world was put in utter chaos because of their existence! It’s everything he’s known, and… He wanted to sigh. Hange, if he remembered their name correctly, had been very adamant on “teaching” the outsiders held hostage. They had been forced to go through these courses on Island Eldian history, about the endless fight against the Titans, about the soldiers who had sacrificed everything, thinking they were fighting to free humanity in its entirety. Some of these courses had been given by Hange themselves. They had the merit to be a very good pedagogue, although eccentric.

Niccolo first thought it was a waste of time. They ranted on and on about “unlearning” their bias. So, when push came to shove, he understood what they meant, even if only partially.

He finished tying the bow tie around his neck and exited the small room, heading to the dining hall right in time to meet Sasha in the hallway. She wasn’t overdressed, she never was, she was wearing her military boots and pants, paired with a jacket Nicco had seen her with before. She had claimed it was Mikasa’s.

“Hey, hottie!” She cried out, walking up to him faster and taking his hands in hers. “You look like you’re about to hold a speech. What’s up?”

“I mean… you. I dressed for you. I mean, for the appointment.”

“I thought we were having dinner…?”

“Don’t worry, we are. I only wanted to look nice. For you.”

She blushed a deep red, shyly dancing on her feet. She clasped his hands between hers, placing a quick peck on his knuckles, then led him inside the dining room, not once daring to look him in the eyes. Niccolo was dazzled, baffled, lovestruck. He wanted to give her everything he could offer, even if everything he had amounted to fine culinary arts and barely charming looks. The moment they barged in, Sasha stopped. Still holding one of his hands dearly, she became silent, her eyes scanning the room with a familiar kind of excitement, the one she showed for food she had never had yet, or when Niccolo surprised her with gifts.

Niccolo was blessed, chosen by the gods, surely, there had to be something supernatural in all this. A woman of her standing, a woman as endearing, as kind, and as funny as her, interested in him? To the point she kissed his knuckles and flirted with him?

She regained her composure and walked them to the table. Niccolo didn’t have the money for candles, so all they had to see in the dark was the moon on this clear night, showering them with its splendor and serenity.

So they sat. Faced each other. Then, he beamed her a tentative smile, a “young boy’s smile”, as she called it. So she replied with her brightest one, her hands already navigating on the table to discover the dishes he prepared earlier.

She feasted with his preparations, which made his chest swell all the same. They talked, and talked, and talked.

“The mission. I shouldn’t tell you, but… it’s next week.”

“Is it?” he replied. “I’m glad you told me. That way, I’ll get to see you off.”

“I guess, but… aren’t you… sad? I mean, we’re declaring war on your home country. It’s Eren’s idea, we can’t exactly leave him alone there, but… still. I don’t know if we should...”

He didn’t have the heart to answer.

“I know what a war’s like”, she continued. “We fought against the Titans, and against the shifters. We lost so many civilians… so many people sent to die to reclaim Wall Maria. I don’t want to kill civilians. Or people. It’s not… it’s never been what we trained for.”

Titans are people, he thought. _Your_ people.

“It’s selfish, but...” he started. He looked her in the eye, bewitched by her strength, by her hardened features and hair cut shorter. Her trained eyes. “You… you saved me from that war. When you fight, I’m not sad. It could be against anyone, I would only feel pride, no matter what. I know it’s not, but… I like thinking it’s me you’re fighting for. So you can come back to me, so that one day, you’ll come back and never leave again. It’s...”

“I like your answer. I’m fighting for so many reasons that, right now, I can’t precisely tell you why. It got lost with time and obligations. I fight because I have to. If I don’t, who else will?”

“Exactly! You fight so others don’t have to. I’m proud of that, and… thankful.”

She looked out the window, up to the moon, watching over them. Some clouds were hiding its milky whiteness, yet they can see like during the day. Bathed by the moonlight, she thought, and thought, and thought.

“You’re right. It’s… I shouldn’t give up. Not when I found something new to protect.”

“I hope you’re talking about me.”

“No. I’m talking about our relationship.”

Now that was a topic she usually tried to avoid. Spurred by her audacity, he went on:

“Oh yeah? How would you describe it?”

“It’s a thing… that makes me feel good. Even without the food. Seeing you… meeting up with you… talking to you… It gives me this feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Sometimes, I even get weak legs, so imagine. What do you want me to tell you? We’ve fucked, it’s not like I admit to hating you now.”

Her unreasonable bluntness always drove him crazy. Her honesty, her sincerity… He laughed heartily, and she laughed along, until she didn’t anymore. He forced her hand off one of the plates so he could take it, and once he had both her hands in his, elbows resting on the table, he leaned forwards, taking in her face.

“I thought about how I wanted to describe it, personally. Each time… I thought it wasn’t enough. I wanted it to be more…” He trailed off.

“More like, more? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“More as in… See, your parents. They’re in love. They’re together. They’re… married.”

“Duh. Yeah, they are.” She managed to free her hands, going back to engulfing the appetizers she had been saving since the start. “They have kids, of course they’re married.”

“You don’t get it. I want to marry you.”

The clouds were fully hiding the moon. In the darkness, Sasha’s quaint reaction was partially obscured. She was starstruck, so in her eyes shone the same hopes that twinkled in Niccolo’s, akin to candles, which they had no need for. She jumped from her chair and hugged him tightly. He embraced her back, intensely, passionately. They had never had moments of love so pure, between them, only.

“I’ll come back”, she whispered, leaving hot tears on his shirt. “I’ll come back and then, I’ll marry you. It’s all I want.” There was desperation in her voice, tinted with anticipation.

“Well, that, and meat, huh?” He answered, ignoring his own silent tears.

She nodded on his shoulder and gripped his shirt even tighter.

“Yeah, Nico.”

**Author's Note:**

> The end is abrupt but it's intentional. Her final words to Niccolo are "Nico" here, which is a parallel to the manga where her last words are "niku" (meat), since it could also theoretically be a nickname for Nico. It's a cute theory so I really wanted to reference it like that.


End file.
